It started with the way they looked at the women. Genevieve LeJeune felt it in her bones on arriving at the club. All around her men and women danced and flirted and fucked in lace and leather. She had never been to a sex club before, and had bought the tickets for the event as a gift for her then boyfriend. It was meant to be fun, but male dominance permeated every breath of her experience.
Women wore lingerie bought for them by the same men who had paid for their tickets. One man surveyed the scene and picked out a blonde. “That one,” he said, “I’ll have her.” In a club like this, guests all attend for sexual gratification, but Genevieve couldn’t shake the feeling that so many of the men were behaving like hunters, leaving the women only space enough to feel like prey. “I was really shocked,” she reflects now. “I didn’t see any of those women smiling naturally. They were performing and pleasing. The men’s arrogance meant that they were blind to the women’s lack of satisfaction.”
It’s partially in response to that night that Genevieve launched Skirt Club, an exclusive women-only community for empowerment and sexual discovery. The club’s world-renowned parties are defined by unapologetic glamour. They’re a place for playfulness and pleasure, for flirtation and fulfilment.
My first venture into this world is on the club’s 10th anniversary. The three-story Marylebone mansion glitters with refinement. The guests are immaculate in their ballgowns and designer lingerie. Effusive compliments flow as easily as the champagne. Burlesque dancers perform and flirtatious games like Spin the Bottle break out.
There is a feeling of freedom in the air. As evening turns to night, clothes come off, flirting turns to kissing, and women come together in pairs or groups to explore each other. There is an egalitarian feel to the play that takes place, a window into how free women can feel when exploring their sexuality without the pressures imposed by patriarchal presence.
One of the event hostesses, Ellie, is well-versed in the sex party scene and has been attending Skirt Club since its outset. Her outfit speaks of her confidence: a leather harness, tattooed nipples and an exquisite silver necklace which she smugly reveals to be a covert vibrator. She is happily married with children, but these parties are an integral part of her lifestyle. “I attend lots of sex parties, but this one is the best on the scene, by far. The atmosphere is so different. It just feels much more fun. It can be girly and giggly, but the women who come here are serious about sex… I’m happy in my relationship, but this is a vital outlet for me.”
She isn’t alone. Her story is echoed by many of the guests I meet. I’m surprised to find that so many women have male partners waiting for them at home. They all speak of the club offering an opportunity to satisfy a need that their partners cannot fulfil, and about the sanctity of a women-only space. Of course, in situations ranging from work meetings to pub drinks, removing men has a marked impact on women’s body language, conversation and confidence. I was eager to see how this would manifest in a sexual arena.
I’ve experienced sex clubs before, but never without men, and honestly I wasn’t sure what to expect. Modern society has made women so accustomed to being scrutinised and sexualised in all areas of life. We almost expect to be looked at, watched and analysed by men, and it feels strange and refreshing to be looked at by women alone here. There is no fear, just passion and play. With one look, the women around me are able to dismantle the myth that our hunger for sex isn’t as great as men’s. In this setting, we’re both the objectified and the objectifiers. The playing field is levelled.
And while I do see women performing for each other, the act loses all toxicity. The lack of a gender-imposed hierarchy breathes freedom into every element of the scene. “Part of the problem [with the sex club I went to all those years ago] was that none of the women were demanding satisfaction,” LeJeune emphasises. “We can’t just sit there and wait. Women need to ask for it.” And, with Skirt Club, she’s created a space in which they can do exactly that.
